What Really Happens At Sydney’s Premier Swingers Club

Sex is everywhere these days (including this recent post on sex as an underrated weight-loss tool), and the normalisation of all things sexual is something that makes us, as card-carrying members of a certain demographic (namely, gentleman over, say, 35) wince a little bit at the in-your-face shenanigans we’re now faced with.

In the good ole days, when we were ploughing our furrows in life, it was several dates and possibly meeting the parents before you got so much as a wet knuckle. 

And that was on a good night. With a tailing wind. When the heady smell of your Fahrenheit cologne worked wonders on her senses and impressed her old man.

Nowadays, you’re two dates in and realising a shared love of the sweet, sweet music of Rimsky Khorsikov before you’ve found out each other’s surname.

It’s a different time (he sighed reflectively whilst looking out into the distance with a glazed expression).

But is it? 

Is it really that different?

Sexual Liberation in 1980’s England

I was ruminating on this point recently with a fellow English-chap and we recalled nostalgically that some of our earliest and most formative experiences were spent with Page 3 of The Sun newspaper, a red-top tabloid of the Murdoch stable, that featured – and I kid you not – a topless lady, smiling coquettishly off the page, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

That’s right:  each day was celebrated with a buxom beauty grinning at you as you took your news. And she wasn’t hidden at the back near the small-ads or the phone sexlines. It was Page 3 of England’s best-selling newspaper (around 3m copies sold per day, from memory).

So is it really more liberated now and are we more sexually voracious? 

Who knows? 

But I set out to scratch the surface. Kind of. Because I’d heard of a mythical club that provided upmarket adult delights for couples & singles who are drawn to the swinger’s lifestyle.

Sexual Liberation In Sydney

Now it might come as something of a surprise, given my (self-proclaimed) reputation as a prolific swordsman, that the wealth of my experience in this field is somewhat limited. 

However, one of my close, personal friends – let’s give him a nom de guerre to protect his identity; how about ‘Super Fit Lad’? – did pay a visit to Sydney’s premier swinging establishment – Our Secret Spot – to see what all the fuss is about.

Here’s what he recorded in his dossier.

Observation 1 – Everyone Is Super Friendly 

Walking through the doors of a swinger’s club is always going to be a nerve-wracking affair. 

Our Secret Spot (OSS) counters this by making the entry process as normal, natural and non-alarming as possible. It’s not a licensed venue so you have to BYO – an absolute boon in a cost-of-living crisis and there’s a handily placed Vintage Cellars across the road.

Regular “newbie” nights are held for those uninitiated in the ways of multi-person sexual establishments, and it is during one of these that an intro guided talk & tour is held by staff to walk noobs through the process and the venue.

Observation 2 – It’s A Choose Your Own Adventure

During the introductory talk the host explains that what you get up to (or don’t) is entirely up to you.

Some folks are there to drink and mingle, some will want to “party” privately or semi-privately, whilst others will take the proverbial bull by the horns and dive headlong into a Mongolian Clusterfuck in the “orgy” room.

There is literally not an option uncatered for, and, believe me, I saw a lot of catering going on.

Observation 3 – There Are Private Rooms [And Rules For These Rooms] 

Hot on the heels of #2 (above) is the not widely known fact (at least, not by me), that if you don’t fancy letting it all hang out in the orgy room, there are a number of private rooms where you can hide away for an intimate tryst – just you and your wife / girlfriend / FWB.

There are rules for these rooms that are all centred around the door: 1) door closed – do not enter, we’re getting jiggy on our own; 2) door roped open but roped off – do not enter but you’re fine to watch the action; 3) door open – come on in, you’re welcome to join.

By providing this optionality, OSS ensures that you truly can choose the degree to which you throw yourself into the swinging experience. A masterstroke.

Observation 4 – There’s A Pool Table. And Snacks

In keeping with the theme of normalising the entire sex-club experience, there’s a pool table in the club. At no point was it not being used.

Not only this but in the bar area, on the bar, was a selection of healthy snacks and dips.

We were incredibly tickled (and comforted somehow) by the idea that you could be semi-clad, chatting up some folks and discussing logistics for the orgy room whilst nibbling on carrot sticks with hummus. Brilliant.

Observation 5 – Being Naked (Or Semi-Naked) Is Normalised

As the night progresses, and acquaintances are made, and plans are hatched, it becomes clear that somewhere along the way, many clothes have also been shed.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the orgy room, where pangs of self-consciousness might start to kick in. 

Not because you’re semi-naked and exposed, but because you’re still fully dressed, standing next to a bed where a group of people are so nakedly entangled it’s impossible to see where one body ends and the next one starts.

And this is where you might decide to use one of the provided lockers to ditch some of your garments and adopt the prevailing dress-code – lingerie and underwear (or shorts).

This doesn’t seem remotely weird to be honest – I see far worse on the beach every single day. At least everyone is over eighteen here.

Summary

Based on these observations, I’m tempted to check out Our Secret Spot myself.

It seems like a fun and non-judgmental venue to go and try something new & different, and scratch an itch (with as much or as little vigour as you deem necessary).